Personal Soliloquy

In twelfth grade, my English class read Hamlet. To this day, I think it might be my favorite Shakespeare play, though Much Ado About Nothing is right up there as well. But I'm not talking about that one just now. Hamlet features several soliloquies, or private monologues. As one of our writing assigments, my teacher had us write our own soliloquies. Some of the wording is a little awkward, but that is because we were encouraged to use partial quotes from Hamlet.

"Personal Soliloquy"
Some mornings, I wake up screaming,
but it’s not because I’ve had a bad dream or I’m not looking forward to the day,
or because I’m hurt. I just scream because I feel like screaming.
As I dress for school, I open my drawers to reveal the hundreds of clothing combinations I could make.
I try them all on to see which one is just right, but decide that none of them are right
and I might as well wear the same thing I wore the day before.
Should I wear my gray sweats, my blue sweats, or my jeans?
My sweats are obviously more comfortable, but they can get awfully hot.
So after I finally decide the gray sweats will do just fine, I head out for the day.
Am I thinking about my agenda for the day? I am not.
Am I thinking about what I ate for dinner the night before? I am not.
Am I thinking about how I didn’t finish my homework, but I really needed to because I won’t have any time to finish it during first period? I am not.
Instead, my thoughts are so deep, so complex, so intelligent and wise that, should they be spoken, they would sound like, “AHHHHHHHHHH!”
All through the day, these thoughts run through my head.
They swirl and twirl and confuse all other thoughts that try to enter.
Some people take me for a quiet, shy girl, but that’s only because they don’t see.
I am anything but that, because everything inside me is actually screaming.
The only reason I don’t let it all out is that someone would surely say,
“Something is rotten in the state of Lindsey’s mind.”
That someone would be right, for in my mind are so many thoughts,
there are so many emotions that mix together and drive me mad.
Lindsey? Rotten in her mind? Oh, absolutely. She has absolutely gone mad.
She is convinced that the Harry Potter books are one hundred percent factual,
and that the only reason she hasn’t been sent an acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is because her owl was intercepted by a dementor.
She believes that the food pyramid is actually a sphere that includes ten major food groups,
but the food groups change according to one’s appetite and cravings.
Yes, Chex Mix is its own food group, as is Mrs. Dash and chicken alfredo pizza.
She believes wholeheartedly that money does grow on trees,
and that Donald Trump and Bill Gates are really poor farmers of money trees as opposed to big business billionaires.
She assumes you are guilty until proven innocent and, no matter what people say,
Hitler would have been an okay guy if he’d abandoned his plan to take over the world
and aspired to open his own beauty salon.
And, above all, she is certain that only her madness would cause her to talk to herself in third person about things that make absolutely no sense.
Is there a method to her madness? Perhaps,
But probably not.