the ignoramus

I haven't seen E.T. I've never been kissed. I don't know how to do my own taxes. I didn't know who to vote for because I didn't know how each candidate stood on all of the issues. And what's worse, I didn't care enough to study it out. I don't know all the words to my favorite songs. I took piano lessons for five or more years and I don't know how to play "Mary Had a Little Lamb." I didn't read The DaVinci Code because I didn't want to figure out how to pronounce all the French words. I don't know how to cook rice. I love words like "enigmatic" and "proliferate" and "poignant," but I couldn't tell you what they mean. I don't know the story of Esther well enough to tell it to a Primary class. I forget the difference between Isaac and Jacob in the Old Testament. After thirteen years of math, I can't tell you what the quadratic formula is, or even what it's used for, and I don't know what "sine, cosine, cosine, sine, cosine, cosine, (slight pause) sine, sine" means. I can't label all the smaller eastern states on a map. I don't know the words to "Old Mother Hubbard" or "Frosty the Snowman." And when I don't know something, I usually just make it up.