I'm finally back at school! When left in March I thought six months was way too long to be away. But after several trips and lots and lots of therapy and pills, here I am. I'm not sure that I'm really ready to be back. Every day I doubt my decision to be back. But I know that I am very blessed. All of my classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have a job on campus (and I can work the hours I want without the stress of deadlines like Scroll!), great roommates, the best bishopric I think I've ever had, and a warm and comforting home just up the street from my apartment when I just can't take "it" (whatever "it" may be) anymore. I spend most of my time at the Samuelsons. I always feel like a burden, but they assure me they love having me, and are always more than willing to accept me into their family. And when I'm not over there, Shauna asks where I am and why I'm not playing Family Feud or Pyramid with them, or sitting on their couch studying until I either fall asleep or have to hurry back to my apartment before the "sleepy pills" kick in for me and/or Elisabeth. We have a lot of fun watching Brian Regan over and over and over and over (I'm not sure I have enough "over"s in there). Thursday nights are Little Caesars pizza nights, and Sundays are Iron Chef nights. Lately Shauna, Elisabeth, and I have been watching Project Runway. It's not usually one I would watch on my own, but once it gets turned on, I just can't peel my eyes away.But being "back to school" is not all about TV and Brian Regan and Meet the Robinsons and sleeping pills (though sometimes it seems like it). I am taking a lighter load of classes this semester than ever before, but that does not mean that it's easy by any means. I'm having a great struggle trying to find my place, trying to find a routine, trying to decide if I'm really ready to be back at school. But still I go, meeting with a counselor once a week and a psychiatrist once a month (incidentally, he is the father of my good friend Nicolas Zohner), and I try to get my homework done even when I don't feel up to it. Besides tutor training, I am taking two online classes (very simple, basic courses on time management and note-taking), and three classes that I attend on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
The first class is American Literature: Colonial to Romantic. I have Brother Hammond for this class, a teacher I've never had before, but I will definitely take more classes from him in the future. He is a wonderful teacher, and I absolutely LOVE the subject matter. We get to read fun things like Native American creation and flood stories--very fascinating and often so full of truth--and letters written by Christopher Columbus and various Puritans. I've always been afraid of works written during this time period, but I'm finding that it's really not as difficult as I'd always thought.
Next I have Young Adult Literature, taught by Paula Soper, one of my dear friends. This is one of the classes that I was enrolled in last winter when I dropped out. I absolutely love this class. I get to read all kinds of books that I probably wouldn't normally pick up but that are so amazing. And what's awesome is that I'm getting credit for reading them! I have to be careful, though, because I tend to put off my other homework, and I have great justification for it--it's homework too! And the Book Orders. Oh Book Orders. I have a great weakness for them. Somehow I managed to get away with only spending $10.00 on the September Book Order!
And finally, I have Doctrines of the Gospel. I would say this is my favorite class, but I love all my classes so much. My teacher is Brother Wightman, the same teacher I had for all of my scripture-based classes. He is one of the best teachers I've ever had. Going into class is like walking into a portal where everything in the world completely disappears and we have a full hour to ask questions and explore some of the deep doctrines of the gospel. I get more in one of those lessons than I do in a whole three hours of church.
Some of you may know that while I was struggling this summer, my church attendance slipped. You can be sure that it is not because I was losing my testimony. And now, in a desire to commit myself more fully to Heavenly Father, I have been attending my ward from 9-12, and then going to the Samuelsons' ward from 1-4. Pulling double-duty is difficult, but I feel like I owe it to myself and to God to make up for the lost time. And I'm actually enjoying going to both wards.
I should probably end for now. I will try to keep this blog updated as much as possible. It's not like my life is all that exciting, so it might not get updated too much...But you never know what might happen in Rexburg. :) Check out my suggested reading list if you're interested in some GREAT books.
